For real, let's just be honest for a second. Probably the only thing that might need to stay stuck in time is some 90's fashion & definitely 90's rap. I love my Doc Martins & some Warren G, & yes, I wear them. It's cool to throw it back sometimes & think of past memories & events that help shape who we are but do we really want to stay stuck in that place? I know I sure don't. But sometimes I throw it back just so I can throw it forward & sometimes when I'm moving forward I think of something from the past & am like, "Wow, that just circled itself back around...guess I should've started that sooner."
Let me explain..
Throw back
About a year-ish ago I got my hands on Run Like a Pirate by Adam Welcome. This is where my Pirate obsession started. Check THIS out for more on that. So I'm reading this book & getting all this motivation to maybe start being a runner. I mean, Adam kept saying, "The time is NOW"
I say out loud, " I think I could run a half marathon. I mean, I hard core workout everyday so why not?"
One of my co-workers was like, "Uhhh...you gotta train for that. You just can't go out and do that & you gotta eat carbs & stuff."
So, I rolled my eyes & was like, "Really?"
So, I just decided to run here & there & never really called myself a runner.
Throw Forward
I created a habit of working out 2nd thing in the morning. I say 2nd thing because I eat breakfast, read & gratitude 1st thing. Well, I always push myself with my workouts & I pulled a freakin back muscle a few weeks ago. So there went trying to increase my weights. When I casually ran it didn't hurt. So...HMMMMMM. A shower & a hair wash (big deal during these times) later & I decided, right then, that I was going to be a runner. Hopped on Google & found Run Across America... A virtual race for all 50 States & I can support food banks in that state with each run. They send a race bib & instructions on how to enter your time, then they send the medal after your time is entered. BOOM...YEAH! This one is IT! So I signed up for CA (the first one) with a 5K & MO with a 10K ( to push myself). Bought a new pair of Brooks (If you're going to do the dang thing you mine as well look the part) & have been training for about a week & am obsessed to say the least. The goal is to collect all 50 states.
With this new sport, the memory of reading Run Like a Pirate made me chuckle & think, "Why did it take me this long to really start this?"
Throw Back
The year of 2012. The absolute worst year of my life. I went through the pain of watching my dad be taken by cancer. It was absolutely horrible & a wound that I don't think will ever fully heal. I never really let myself fully go through the motions of grief. I had a new baby, a toddler, & a family to hold together. It took 7 years for me to finally let those emotions come to the surface. Crazy I know. Click THIS for more on that. Sometimes I think about how horrible that experience was & how things would be for me & my family if I would still be blinded by that dark vail that covers the face when those things happen. I think the hardest part is trying to find yourself after a piece of you leaves with someone you love so much.
Throw Forward
I know I would not be where I am at today if I would not have had to experience that horrible experience. I completely understand that every human handles different situations differently & have different factors that play a huge part with moving through or staying stuck for a bit. But, I do know that the year of 2012 helped to prepare me for the year of 2020. The fear, uncertainty, & learning to cope & live with a new normal with a big hole in your heart is dumb hard. Unfortunately, losing my dad is a permanent new normal that feels new everyday & not a temporary new normal.
Sometimes I think my dad paid the ultimate price for me to have the courage to wake up & take care of me so I could have the energy to serve the humans who count on me the most & to be brave & share my sparkle with others who may need some shimmer in their day. So as sucky as 2012 was I'm going to dedicate my running year of 2020 to Ronald Lee Calhoun, my daddo.
For you, beautiful human, shit sucks & sometimes we gotta throw back to throw forward. My heart is with you during this crazy time. Remember you were made for more & take Adam's word..."The time is NOW" & do the dang thing that has been on your mind & heart. That thing will give you something to get out of bed for in the morning & make you feel so dang proud our yourself when you slay each step it takes to get to the big goal!
You've got this! & Don't forget to spread that sparkle with others long the way!
X,
Lisa
Twitter: @teach_n_boots
IG: lisa_toebben
PS. As always, if you jived with this please subscribe. I have some exciting things I'm working on & am grateful for your support.
Comments