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Writer's pictureLisa Toebben

Hey, Taylor Swift

Yes, girl, YES! You are right Taylor Swift. Just shake it off, shake it off.


Holla Back girl---SHAKE IT OFF, cuz I ain't no holla back girl even though I have a few besties who would go roun' the outside for me.


A day that doesn't go as planned- SHAKE IT OFF, cuz what doesn't kill ya will just make ya stronger & tomorrow is a new day to try again


Your kid cuts himself & you are debating on if the cut is deep enough to risk going to Urgent Care-Shake it off & just throw some super glue in the wound & hope for the best...JK


Lost connection during that Zoom Call-Shake, Shake, Shake it off


But, something that I have learned not to just shake off is the unwanted emotions that come to visit.


This week....Ahhhh this week. That emotion of grief came to visit. I'm calling it grief because, for me, grief can only produce this type of sadness & depression like symptoms.


I made the mistake of reading the guidelines for re-entry into school in the fall & BOOM!

Grief came barging in like a freight train.

I mourned the loss of the end of the school year.

I mourned the loss of experiences & personal growth my student & I were experiencing this school year.

I mourned the possible loss of the Dream Bean Coffee Co. (my students school business that has been more than amazing to watch grow)

I mourned the loss of not being able to stop the world for a few seconds to celebrate awesome events & accomplishments that are happening in the lives of my students & the students who I don't actually teach but have adopted me as a mentor.

I mourned the loss of the missed experiences of my own two children that we all look so forward to during our school years.

I mourned for the loss of what I took for granted for so many years. (I call these years my pre-pirate years...read more about that here)


What I have learned about these unwanted emotions, especially grief, is that I have to allow myself to feel the emotion in order to be able to take effective action & move forward. I was that person who would just, "Shake It Off" & ignore it. For more on that, read this. That emotion will come to the surface eventually & it will NOT be pretty.


We must grieve in order to rise.

On this particular day I decided to turn to my form of meditation...Running (it was not a pretty run & I'm certain tears were flowing with the sweat.

On my run I was able to focus, think, & feel my way though some of these emotions.

1. I can't change my past teacher life & it truly shaped me into the teacher I am today

2. I'm working on a plan B for the coffee shop that could ultimately build on the plan A if & when we get to return to the old normal of going to school & learning together in a classroom

3. My team of students are creative & innovative & will still be able to accomplish amazing things regardless of our learning situation

4. I am creating experiences for my children at home & their creativity is shining through


Don't get me wrong, I'm still sad & a tad pissed off about this whole situation but we don't get to choose the difficulties we face but we can choose process it, feel it, & to move forward. And for me, moving forward means to be able to allow myself to process the emotion. Remember that unwanted emotions are just like unwanted visitors-You have to deal with them to be able to take effective action to move forward so they don't stick around or come back extra strong.


So really instead of making like Taylor & shake it off, make like TLC & process the emotion & No Scrubs that visitor & keep moving forward because as Thomas Rhett says,

" Life Changes"

You wake up, ain't nothing the same and life changes

You can't stop it, just hop on the train and

You never know what's gonna happen"


So Razzle Dazzle & keep being the amazing human you were created to be :)


X,

Lisa



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