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Writer's pictureLisa Toebben

Should-a, Should-a, Wish I Could-a

I don't know about you, but I kinda can't stand it when someone tells me what I SHOULD be doing or what I need to be doing. When I hear, "you SHOULD be" I get the RBF (google it) & roll my eyes in my head. Then I think, no $h!t Sherlock, I know I SHOULD do this & I SHOULD be doing THAT but I just don't know where to start or how to even start.


Ever walk into the laundry room just to turn around and shut the door because the pile is freaking outta control? Yeah me too.


What about when you are scrolling your Insta feed & see that post of that girl rocking her before & after pics with a caption of I eat healthy & work out everyday. Yeah, must be nice. I have kids, a husband, & a JOB. AKA...NO TIME!


Same goes for those educational posts that talk about you SHOULD be doing this with tech, & you SHOULD be incorporating this tactic in your class to help with whatever the trend maybe at that time. You NEED to have you classroom set up like this to have optimum student engagement.


Yeah, I completely KNOW that I should tackle the laundry some sort of system, I KNOW I should eat healthy & exercise everyday, & I know I NEED to do ALL of those things in my classroom to make learning awesome for ALL students. But, if I don't know how or where to start, it ain't gunna happen & I will continue to roll my eyes at all of the perfectionism that I am surrounded by because in reality, they don't "get" my situation.


Here is the thing, I am successful with my health & fitness because I had someone say, "What do you need from me to get this started?" BOOM it worked. I lost 20 pounds & have been able to maintain my progress just by someone HELPING me get started.


I'm starting feel more successful implementing tech into my lessons because I was able to talk about my current reality & the tech guy said, "What do you need from me to get this started?" & BOOM plan starts rolling into ACTION.


I've been able to implement & amazing project based learning project (Dream Bean Coffee Co.) in my classroom after going to my principal with the idea and him saying, "What do you need from me to make this happen?"


With all of the correlation of the things I struggle with putting into action that I am now successful at or am starting to feel more confident in the common question was, "What do you need from me to make this happen?" BOOM, I'm going to try this with my students to see what happens because in reality, we are kinda the same with our excuses of the stuff we feel overwhelmed with. We know what we NEED & SHOULD do, it's just knowing how to start that is usually the struggle.


Field Test #1

Academic Lab: A lot of students have D's & F's in my academic lab. We talk one to one twice a week about grades and assignments. Instead of nagging & nagging about missing assignments, I asked, "What do you need from me to help you with get these missing assignments completed AND turned in. Sometimes assignments are completed, but not turned in. Which I never understood, but whatever, someday I might. I found on some assignments they just didn't know how to start the assignment. Sometimes, they were just so overwhelmed with ALL the "stuff" that they really didn't know how to prioritize & start knocking out the work. All of this info came out when the question was asked, "What do you need from me to get this stuff done." It should be noted, we are talking with students so, the first answer is sometimes, "nothing" so you ask a few more questions, then repeat the question again & sometimes again until you get a real answer after all the excuses are laid out on the table.


Field Test #2

English 2: If you have not read Be Real by Tara Martin, you need to. Game Changer on sooooo many levels. After reading her book I decided to adapt her REAL + INNOVATORS Compass in a High School English Class. I am the co-teacher so having two of us gives us the opportunity to individually meet with students. This was one of the BEST student conferences I think I have

ever facilitated. I gave each student option of pen color & post-it colors & told them they had 30 seconds to answer each question & each question would have it's own post it note. (if you have a student who FREAKS out on time constraints, DON'T time them. The time is used to ensure the first thought that pops in their head is written down.) The questions that they were asked started with things/people they value, to current school reality, to dream big goals, then the last question was, "What do you need from me to help you get to your goals?" The LOOKS on their faces were priceless. It was like they have NEVER been asked that before. That's when I really knew that this is what I HAD to change my verbiage too. It should also be noted that there were students who looked at me like I was insane for asking them what their Dream Big goals were. Some even said, "I don't know. No one has ever asked me that before." GASP....WHAT!!!!????



After my 2 field tests I KNEW that I NEEDED to start asking kids that were struggling with whatever they are struggling with at the given moment they are struggling, "What do you need from me to help you?" So out went the, "You NEED to get those missing assignments turned in." You, SHOULD be doing this or that. I tested this verbiage with kids in meltdown mode too. Instead of puking unwanted advice at them, I tried just LISTENING then when there was a pause in between the tears, I would say, "What do you need from me to help you with this right now?" Holy FREAKING smokes. Have you ever seen hope in a students face or felt that "heart" moment? This will do it, so just be prepared for what happens next. Tara also talks about being REAL & heart moments in her book. I'd tell you more, but you really just need to read her book for yourself.


If I don't want to hear, "I SHOULD do laundry more than once a week or I NEED to do laundry", then my students don't want to hear that they NEED to do their work. We both know what we need to do. We just get overwhelmed at times & need help getting started. Really, I just want someone to do the laundry for me. This is probably what some of our student think about the assignments we assign too.


I think the same goes for fitness also, we all KNOW what we need to eat healthy & exercise. It's just a matter of knowing how to start & keep the consistency going. Really, that stuff is overwhelming & hard. We can come up with a ton of excuses on why we can't take care of ourselves. But, when asked, "What can I do to help you get started so you can reach your goals?" is asked, it kinda takes some of the anxiety out of getting started because now I am part of a team & not alone in the work. Which we all know the hard stuff is easier if you are with a team of cheer leaders.


I'm not going to tell you what you SHOULD or NEED to do. That's not my style. But, you COULD see if this strategy COULD work for you.



x,

Lisa


PS. Are you thinking you are wanting to start a healthy lifestyle? What can I do to help you get started so you can feel amazing & reach your goals? No strings attached...well maybe, I'll trade my strategies for you doing my laundry....JK . You can read a little about my backstory on how I learned to maintain a healthy lifestyle by reading my first blog post. If you are ready to take ACTION but don't know how or where to start, join us FREE at the LIFESTYLE PROJECT. (Ladies Only)


PSS. Here is the link for the adapted version of the REAL + Innovators Compass. & check out Tara's page for all of her amazing resources that can be used in your life/classroom - like last week.


It should be noted that I am working on my graphic design skills. You'll get what I'm saying when you see my adapted version of the REAL + Innovators Compass.


Lastly, be sure to subscribe & tag me when you spread your glitter #livewithglitter











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